BURNING UP by Sandra de Helen
For Tennesee Williams and other gay men I love.
© Sandra de Helen
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
TW: Tennessee Williams, his first time away from home, newly come out as homosexual (to
himself, not to the world).
STONE: A 21 year old blond Greek God of a young man.
ALMA: A spinster of a certain age; a Southern lady.
BORIS: A Russian spy, really bad at his job.
RUTH: An 18 year old prostitute. Stunningly beautiful.
SETTING: A 4th floor balcony overlooking Bourbon Street in the French Quarter, New
Orleans, Mardi Gras night. The streets below are completely filled with partying thrill-seekers,
parades and parade-watchers, police, firefighters and their equipment trying to reach the fire.
AT RISE: BORIS is flattened against the
wall of the balcony, using a monocular to
scan the streets below. He wears a long black
trenchcoat, a slouch hat, and gloves.
ENTER RUTH.
RUTH
My, what a gorgeous evening for a parade. Would you mind holding my glass while I slip out of
this wrap? The heat is just overbearin’, don’t you think?
BORIS
(With heavy Russian accent) How did you?
RUTH
What? See you? Honey chil’, I din’t hafta see you, I could smell you before I entered the room, let
alone come out on the balcony. Did you ever hear of a showerbath? And Good Lord, sweetie, get
out of that heavy coat and gloves and such! You must be sweltering! No wonder you’re so rank!
Excuse my French.
BORIS
French?
RUTH
I mean to say, I’m sorry for bein’ so rude, but my dear, you’ll never get a girl smellin’ like that, not
even if you pay her, and believe me, you’d have to pay ME plenty, well dependin’ on exactly
what services you wanted rendered o’course…
BORIS
(still standing there fully dressed, holding her glass, and now her wrap as well): My English …
RUTH
Never mind, honey. You don’t look like you’re lookin’ for love, I’ll just move along …
ENTER TW
TW
(nearly hysterical): My God! My God! The fire escape, where’s the fire escape?
RUTH
Fire escape? Slow down honey, you’re kinda cute …
TW
Where’s the fire escape!!!!
RUTH
Where’s the fire? (Laughs at her cleverness)
TW
Right behind you, you idiot! In the room right behind you! Now where is the goddamned fire
escape?
ENTER ALMA, nearly fainting, wiping her
brow, listing first left, then right, leaning on
the doorframe, waving a hankie.
ALMA
My Lord, my Lord, somebody get me a sip of water, please!
TW
(Searching every corner of the balcony for a fire escape, he finds Boris) Shit! Holy Christ, man,
you scared me! What are you doing here?
BORIS
I… I …
SOUND: SIRENS, CROWD
SCREAMING, DIXIELAND JAZZ
FROM BELOW
TW
What?
RUTH
What?
ENTER STONE (looking calm, cool,
collected, eyeing everyone)
TW
Hello, sir. Is the way behind you clear now?
STONE
Zorba.
TW
Excuse me?
STONE
Zorba.
RUTH
Never mind him, honey, he doesn’t speak English. He’s trying to tell you he’s Greek.
TW
(So interested, he forgets the fire for a moment) You don’t say.
ALMA
Won’t SOMEONE please bring me a glass of water or a mint julep before I faint dead?
BORIS
What is mint? Money?
RUTH
(Waving to crowd below) Help! Help! We’ve got a fire up here honey!
BORIS
Fire?
STONE
Zorba!
TW
I’ll Zorba you, you hunk of butter. Come over here and save me, mister man!
RUTH
You? He’s gonna save me! Come on sweetie, come to Ruth. It’s only fair, I saw him first!
ALMA
Thirst, you think you’ve got thirst? I’ve been begging for liquid ever since I stepped over that
threshold.
BORIS
Police! Police are there!
TW
Great, they can save us.
RUTH
Police don’t carry firehoses, I’m sorry to tell you.
BORIS
Must run! (Tries to get back inside, flames force him back onto the balcony, he shuts the door.
They are all now permanently trapped on the balcony.)
SOUND: Now so loud they cannot
understand each other.
RUTH
Hey Zorba! Save me!
STONE
Zorba!
ALMA
Water! Please, water!
RUTH
(Goes to balcony, leans over, bares her breasts) Hey! We have a fire up here!
FX: BEADS ARE TOSSED ONTO
BALCONY
TW
You idiot, that’s not helping!
STONE
(Goes to balcony, bares his buttocks to the crowd below) ZORBA!
FX: BEADS ARE TOSSED ONTO BALCONY
TW
My God, I want that ass! Zorba!
STONE
Zorba?
RUTH
Hey! I don’t care if you are the famous Tennessee Williams, I saw him first! Oh yes, I know who
you are.
TW
I know who you are too. Or I should say, I know what you are. In any case, he’s mine!
BORIS sheds coat, hat, gloves, is dressed as
a cat burglar. He begins to climb over edge of
balcony. ALMA climbs him like a tree.
ALMA
Take me with you!
BORIS
Police!
ALMA
My God you stink! (Tries to cover her nose, slips, appears to fall to crowd below).
BORIS
Nyet! Nyet!
TW and ZORBA are up against the back
wall, in the shadows, making out. RUTH
leans over the balcony, flashing her breasts,
and yelling for help. BORIS is hanging from
balcony’s edge, when EXTENSION
LADDER APPEARS AT EDGE OF
BALCONY.
TW, BORIS, RUTH, STONE
Oh, it’s you.
ALMA
This kind firefighter caught me, poor little Alma, he caught ME, and now we’ve come to rescue
the rest of you.
RUTH
What firefighter? I don’t see a firefighter.
ALMA
Oh dear, he seems to have fallen to the ground. I suppose I must have stunned him when he
caught me.
TW
When you flattened him, you mean.
ZORBA
Zorba?
BORIS
Boris must have ladder!
ALMA
Here, grab onto the ladder, but please! Do not touch me, you smell so dreadfully foul…
BORIS GRABS THE LADDER,
DISAPPEARS.
TW
I thought he’d never leave.
RUTH
You and me both, honey.
ALMA
Who’s next? Zorba?
STONE reaches for the ladder. TW and RUTH pull him back.
TW
No, no, ladies first! You must go first, I insist.
RUTH
You just want to hog him for yourself.
STONE
Zorba?
TW
Truly, it is simple chivalry.
RUTH
My ass.
TW
Nothing to do with your ass, I assure you.
STONE
Ass?
ALMA
Now let’s not have any ass talk. Come on dear, descend the ladder to safety.
RUTH
Sometimes safety is not all it’s cracked up to be.
TW
Please, just go. You too, Miss Alma is it? You too Miss Alma, we’ll make our own way. You
ladies go ahead and reach the ground. We’ll be right down. Right, Zorba?
STONE
Ass?
TW
That’s right, ass. Your delicious ass. I’ll save it, right after I savor it. Say goodbye to the ladies,
bye bye!
STONE
Bye, bye!
ALMA AND RUTH DISAPPEAR, LEAVING THE BALCONY TO TW AND STONE.
TW
It’s getting awfully hot up here, don’t you agree Zorba?
STONE
Bye?
TW
I think we need to shed some of these clothes, here let me help you (begins stripping Stone of his
clothing).
STONE
(enthusiastically stripping his own clothes) Bye! Bye bye! (tosses his clothes over the balcony)
SOUND: Loud crashing of glass and overwhelming sounds of fire approaching.
TW
Oh Christ! It’s too close! We have to leave. Dammit dammit dammit, come on beautiful boy, we
have to go! Yes, we’ll go now, come later.
STONE
Bye bye?
TW
Bye bye.
TW is already on the ladder, pulling Stone along with him. As soon as Stone is over the edge of
the balcony, a deluge of beads showers the balcony.
END